Just Another B Movie Flick
by Fatal Instigator
Summary: Narration done by Victor and a squirrel, the Acolytes go on a little trip that is filled with heart pounding horror, mind numbing action, amazingly CGI effects and bad acting skills. Discontinued
1. Till One Year Later

**Pyromaniac: This came to me, on the highway, as I was waiting for someone to pick me up after the accident. Funny how the muses act sometimes. Nothing much to say, except I started calling Sabretooth 'Victor'**

**Disclaimer****: I own only John's flamboyant gay attitude and the squirrel, and if any of you try to take them without my permission, I'll hunt ya down!**

**Random Thing For The Day****: _I __cut down trees. I wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa!_**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The scene opens to a classic British reading room. A fire is crackling in the fireplace; old historic novels line the bookshelves, velvet red armchairs sit by the fireplace where two figures are disusing the weather over champagne, while classical music is playing in the background. Yes, my friends. You are in for a show.

"Aw, crap! I just caught my long, un-kept, girly hair on fire again!

"Chirping!"

Ironic twist, huh? Bet you weren't expecting those two. Due to the fact that Mr. Squirrel cannot speak English, the magic of fan fiction shall provide a British voice for him…and also give dear Victor some much needed manners.

"Well, I do declare! My giant furry hands keep breaking our fine elegant champagne glasses."

"Chirp, chirp, chirping" Well, Sir. Victor maybe you shouldn't hold them so tightly

"I do suppose."

"Squeak, chirp, squeakin" Anyway, on to more important subjects "Chirp, chirp!" Tonight we spin a tale of humour, drama, and lastly, horror!

"Oh dear, Sir. Squirrel" Victor frowned. "Horror?"

"Squeak" Nothing too bad, Victor "Squeak, squeak" This is rated PG-13

"May I start?"

"Chirpy" If it pleases you

"Goodie!" Victor turned around in his chair to face the hidden camera. "Our tale starts out with four young mutants, driving along a long, dark road. These four friends are having the time of their lives, after all, they're going to a boy band concert!" 

"Squeak" Sounds like a smashing good time

"Unfortunately, they are not aware of the horror that lurks around the corner…." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"_I'm tearing up my wallet, when I'm without you!" _John howled.

_"And when we're apart, I drink Mountain Dew!" _Pietro sang poorly.

_"An' t'ough I 'ave non clue, my brain's awake" _Remy cried as he ratted the dashboard with his knuckles

_"When I step in do, do!" _They finished.

"For the love of cheese!" Peter cried, honking his horn at a truck-driver as it passed him. "I know you guys are excited about seeing the **X Sync Boys** but seriously, you suck at singing!"

John sniffed. "Just because you sang in a opera doesn't mean you can judge us."

"I sure as hell can!"

Pietro and Remy sighed as the two continued to bicker. "Well, Remy, at least the road isn't long and dark."

"Y' got dat rig't!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Chirping" You filthy gutter snipe, you said they were suppose to be having the time of their lives, and that it was a long, dark road. Tsk Tsk, Victor you have lied to me and the fans

"That's for the court to decide," Victor stretched in his chair. "Not to change the topic but did you realize that these champagne glasses never go empty!"

"Squeak, chirpy" Actually I did, but I didn't want to burst your bubble

"Well, you did"

"Squeak." I apologize, Sir. Victor The squirrel held out its glass as Victor re-filled it. "Squeaken" That's better, now please continue

"As John and Peter bickered, they sadly did not see the young principal run into the road…."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Peter, do you want me to take the wheel? You need both eyes to argue with John"

"I'm fine…John! How many times do I have to tell you? Lance is not that kind of guy!"

"But he's so dreamy…" John trailed off as he started to daydream about life with Lance, completely ignoring the other mutants.

"I feel snubbed!" Remy cried.

"Didn't you want him to stop fantasizing about you?" Peter sighed.

"Well, oui"

"Personally," Pietro spoke up. "I think him fantasizing about you, is the least of your worries."

"W'y do y' say dat, Pietro?"

"I was in his room yesterday, um…looking for um…something, and I noticed something odd in his closet."

"W'at?"

"Some sort of decorated, make-shift structure, I believe."

"Decorated, make-shift structure?"

"Yes, when I told him to go get the movies we rented-"

"Wait a minute!" Peter interrupted. "You guys rented movies and I wasn't invited?"

"You were washing your hair, and besides, you know how upset you get when someone interrupts you daily primping"

"My secret shame"

"Guys?" Remy said waving his hands around. "Can we get back to the subject?"

"Sorry"

"Anyway, so when he ran off downstairs, I quickly dove into his closet and found out something"

"What?"

"It wasn't just a decorated, make-shift structure, it was a shrine to you, Remy."

"O"

"He has all these picture of you in it. And candles! And locks of your hair!"

"I t'ought I was just goin' bald"

Peter and Pietro sadly shook their heads.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Squeaking, squeak?" When are they going to have an accident?

"Soon…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, guys?" Pietro asked

"Yeah?"

"Is it just me or did it start to get dark all of a sudden?"

"Yeah," agreed Peter. "It also started raining hard as well. I can barely see the road!"

"We're going to die!" cried John.

"Jo'hn? Did y' jus' snap out of it?"

"Yes"

"O…'old me!"

"Remy-luv!" John cried as he leapt over Pietro to get to his love. 

"Peter?" 

"Yes Pietro"

"Can you see the road?"

"…What would you do if I said no?"

"We're going to die!"

"I thought you might say that, Pietro." Peter said, squinting, trying to see the road.

"Hey!" Pietro grinned as he looked at the road. "It's Principal Kelly!"

A thud was heard as the car went over something.

"Well," Pietro said. "It was Principal Kelly"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Accidents happen when you least expect it"

"Chirping" Maybe the four mutants weren't expecting it, but you ruined it for the readers

"My deepest apologizes"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ah crap!" Peter yelled as he and the rest of the gang climbed out of the car. "We killed Principal Kelly!"

"Correction," Pietro snicker as he watched John and Remy poked Principal Kelly with a stick. "You killed Principal Kelly"

"Are y' sure he's dead, Jo'nny?"

John poked Principal Kelly a couple more times. "I'm sure"

"What are we going to do with the body?" Peter wanted to know.

"Well, even though you ran him over, I'll take care of this for you Peter."

"How, Pietro?"

"Help me pick him up"

"Ew" commented John as he watched Peter and Pietro pick Principal Kelly up and start across the road. Remy dropped the stick and began to walk away with them.  "Hey! Wait for me!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"And the plot thickens!"

"Chripin" Indeed

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"W'at is da poin' of dis?" Remy asked as he, Peter, Pietro and John huddled in the woods by the highway watching cars drive pass.

"Just wait…"

"Remy-luv, I'm hungry!"

"John's right, Pietro," Peter frowned. "What are we waiting for?"

"Someone to…found them!"

"Found it?" John looked around. "Where?"

"That car coming from over there. It's an old friend's of mine"

"Huh?"

"Now!" Pietro cried throwing Principal Kelly in the road as the car approached.

The car skidded to a halt as it drove over the body.

"Oh my god!" A familiar voice cried.

"Scott, calm down. It was probably just a dog"

"Like, Scott, why don't you, like, look?"

"Why don't you look, Kitty?"

"Like, make me Kurt!"

"Calm down you two. Scott, go check out what it was."

"Why me?"

"You were the one driving"

"At the count of three we will all go out together. Kay? 1… 2…3!" Scott jumped out of the car, cursing as he heard the doors lock behind him. "Why is it always me?" he whined as he walked around the car.

"Scott what is it?" Jean asked as Scott looked.

"Oh my god!" Scott cried. "We killed Principal Kelly!"

Kurt got out of the car and placed his hand on Scott's shoulder. "Correction" Kurt grinned, "You killed Principal Kelly"

"Like, what are we, like, going to do?"

"Don't worry" Jean said shakily. "Let's wrap the body up in a blanket that we have for no reason and dump the body in a lake. Then, we won't tell anyone about it, and forget about it for a year."

"Deal"

As Scott, Jean, Kurt and Kitty went to take care of the job, Peter and friends high-fived. "Now t' da concert!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"That wasn't supposed to happen!" Victor exclaimed. "Those four weren't supposed to come!"

 "Squeak, chirp" That's life my dear Victor.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Pyromaniac****: So… how was it? I MIGHT post another chapter depending on if you want it or not. **


	2. Gypsies In The Moonlight

_Wow, it's been how long? Dude, I started this in March. Crazy. Alright, updates on stories._

_Flammable Icing and Barbie Dolls: Happy birthday! It's been a more than a year sense I wrote the first chapter. What started out as a short story with about three chapters and would have been done in less than a month, morphed into seventeen chapters, that hasn't been touched since August. I'm horrible with updating. I haven't started the new chapter yet, but I have it planned out in my head._

_High School Stereotypes: New chapter is half done. Probably be up in March if I remember it. Unless it's almost done by early February, then I'll make sure I finish it and put it up as a birthday gift to readers and myself._

------------------

Pietro brushed off his hands and smirked at his fellow Acolytes. "Now that was fun!"

"What was fun about that?" Peter cried, "Magneto is going to kill us when he finds out about this."

"Who said he was going to find out?"

Peter gasped and pointed his finger at Pietro's face. "If you are applying that I and my teammates lie to our boss who took us in and bed us and bathed us, than you are surely mistaken!"

"I'm all for it," said a random rock.

"Same 'ere", agreed Remy.

"He bathed you?"

"Uh...no!" Peter shook his head and gave Pietro a dirty look. "Ew, man!"

"You were the one who mentioned it."

"Hey, P and da other P," Remy interrupted, "where's da fire bug?"

"Huh?" Pietro and Peter looked around for John when a blast of flames when up not to far from them. They both turned around in horror to see John standing by the now destroyed car.

"Jo'nny! 'Ow could y'?"

John turned around and smiled meekly at them, while he rubbed the back of his head. "I have a problem…"

"Now we'll never see the X Sync Boys!" Peter wailed. "I wanted to get a lock of N-Dog's hair!"

"Alright, alright, calm down guys," Pietro gave a cough and smoothed down the front of his shirt, trying to ignore the smell of the burning car. "It's simple, really. We kill John, find some wheels and make our very own John-wagon."

"I'll kill him," Peter volunteered, raising his hand in the air. "It'll cost you, of course," he went on not noticing the look of fear in John's face.

"Whatever the price is, daddy will sure to be paying the bill."

"I want to be paid in advance."

"You know I don't have much money with me!"

"Alright, well I got a nice two for one deal going on this month."

"Remy did steal my light blue sweater…"

"Dat's a lie!" Remy cried, once again interrupting. "I never touched dat ugly sweater! It was Peter!"

"Was not!"

"Yes it was, John told me!"

"John you're a snitch!" Peter glared, "and you KNOW how much I hate snitches!"

"Remy-luv!" John whipped away tears. "You said our relationship was built on trust, not lies!"

"Well, I lied."

"I hate you all!" John screamed. "I wish I wasn't even part of this family! I'm going to my room!"

Peter, Remy and Pietro exchanged puzzled looks as John ran across the road and into the trees.

------------------

"Well, well, who thought Peter was secretly a killer?"

"Squeak, chirp chirp!" Those bloody idiots! I was the one who stole that ugly sweater. Foolish Pietro! The squirrel gave a cackle…at least it sounded like a cackle. You can never be sure about those squirrels.

"Why, I never!" Sabretooth glared at the squirrel. "I thought you were above such matters."

"...Squeakin?" …Let's get back to the story, shall we?

"Alright then!" Sabretooth crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair. "So it seems that our dear friends are in a doosy of a pickle. Convincing the beloved students of Charles Xavier that they killed Robert Kelly, our feared foursome went back to the car only to find that Mister Allerdyce set fire to the car, destroying it when his comrades weren't looking. How he managed that, baffles us all. Squirrel?"

"Chirping, squeak, chirp, squeak." Thank you, Victor. Tension built when Pietro was told that Peter stole his ugly blue sweater. Alliances were broken and new ones weren't formed. "Chirp, chirp." Let's see what happens next!

------------------

"John? Where are you John?" Peter in a vain attempt to find his young friend, built a flashlight out of pinecones and hair from Pietro's head, and was running around the forest trying to find John.

"He' won't come t' y', Peter. Y' said you'll kill him. He'll come t' Remy." Remy took off his jacket and wrapped his arms around his body. "Remy is ever so cold! Alas, if dere was a way dat Remy could be warmed up. Perhaps someone would come an' share his body heat?" Remy said coyly. He frowned when no John came rushing towards him. "Anyone? Dammit!" Remy put his jacket back on and stamped his foot. "Dat sexy but stupid strawberry blonde!"

"Guys!" John jumped out from a near by log, surprising Pietro who was sitting on the log. "I found the coolest thing ever!"

"John!" Pietro and the Acolytes ran to greet him. "Where were you? What did you find?"

"Follow me and I'll show you!" John said and ran off.

"Follow the insane fire bug, lads!" Pietro yelled and took after John with Peter and Remy following.

------------------

"Well it seems that our young friend found something!"

"Squeak, squeaking, chirp chirp" I do believe that's obvious. He just told them that he found something. You don't need to inform our readers about something they already know.

Sabretooth sniffed. "Leave me alone"

------------------

Remy chuckled as Pietro vainly tried to pull himself up after he tripped over another tree root. "Trees don't seem t' like y', Pie." He chuckled again, but quickly stopped after seeing the look of loathing on Pietro's face. "So, uh, P. I was wondering something." He said, looking at Peter through the corner of his eye."

"Yes?" 

"Yo' suppose to be a Russian dude. Where's yo' accent?" 

"…Well where's John accent?"

"Touché"

"Where's John?" Pietro asked looking around, "I didn't think we got that far behind."

"Boo!" John yelled jumping out from his spot behind Remy, laughing as the older boy jumped away. "Scared ya!"

"John! W'ere? How?"

"I doubled back and follow you guys. So where are we going?"

Pietro stopped walking and slowly turned around to face John. "You told us that you found something, and we followed you so you could show us what it was. Let me guess," Pietro crossed his arms and smirked, "you didn't find anything. You made it up because you were to ashamed to crawl back and apologize to me."

"Oh!" John searched the pockets of his jeans. "I did find something actually," he searched his hoodie, "I just don't know where I put it."

"Smooth, Pyro." Remy frowned and leaned against a tree. "Y' have da worst memory ever."

"Wait a minute!" With a giggle John tucked his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. "I remember now! It was too big to put in my pocket so I left it where I found it"

Peter cocked his head to the side. "Where is this mysterious object you have discovered?"

"Over there, silly!"

Peter and Remy turned around and looked at each other, confused, when seeing the thing John had discovered. "How did that get there?" Peter cried in amazement seeing several beat up wagons and a few wrecked cottages.

"It's my old gypsy home that I never mentioned about before until now!" Pietro cried. "Memories!"

"When where you a gypsy?" John asked.

"Long, long story." Pietro replied, wiping away a tear of joy.

"It's a good thing I have all day."

"Shove it John"

"Wow!" Peter exclaimed. "What a coincidence that we would end up at Pietro's old abandoned gypsy home, where those sexy teens drowned in the pond across the field, at midnight, on Friday the thirteenth!"

"Talk about fan fiction irony!"

"Pietro," Remy cried, getting over his shock. "Show us around!"

"Sure! Okay let's see…." Pietro walked around. "That spot right there." He said pointing. "Is where I first realized how gorgeous I am."

The gang collectively gasped and took cameras out of nowhere, taking several pictures of the scene."

"That's where I got my first scraped knee"

The gang collectively gasped again and took more pictures

Pietro walked around some more and pointed out things including, the place where he took his first steps, his first kiss, the first time he charmed someone, and where he used to play with Wanda.

Peter stopped in his tracks. "Who's Wanda?"

"My psycho sister"

"Oh her! She's hot!"

"Ew! Too much infor-ma-tion Pe-ter! Let's move on…oh my god!"

"What?"

"It's- it's- it's" 

Peter walked over to Pietro and started rubbing his back. "Deep breaths, Pietro. Deep breaths"

"It's my old bucket!"

"Bucket?"

"You know!" Pietro walked in front of the group with his hands on his hips. "Like, come on. Are you guys dense or something? You never heard of someone owning a bucket?"

"Well, non. But would y' care t' enlig'ten us?"

"Jeez, do I have to explain everything?"

"'Fraid so"

Pietro sighed. "If you couldn't make it to the bathroom at night, you use the bucket!"

The gang stared at him with their mouths open. "Dat is gross!" Remy cried

"Yes Pietro," Peter said as he watched his friend hug the bucket. "I don't know how you were in your 'crazy gypsy world', but nowadays us civilized people use a toilet."

"Or a Pepsi can!" John added.

"Hey, buckets are cool!" Pietro said, smiling as the gang shook their heads sadly. "See," Pietro started. "After you make your dirty little surprise in the bucket…." He started to unzip his pants to the gang's horror.

"Don't you dare make a mess in that bucket!" Peter scolded. "It's probably full of germs from several years of lying on the ground where any tree loving hippie could come and use it whenever they please."

"Fine then" Pietro grumbled and grabbed Remy's water bottle much to the other mutant's disagreement.

"My bourbon was in dere!"

"Aw, quit your bellowing!" He un-screwed the bottle and emptied it's contents in the bucket, chuckling as Remy cried in John's arms. "Now, when the bucket's full-" He picked it up. "You put it on your head!"

"Dude, you had one odd childhood" John piped up.

"Why thank you John! Okay, so ya got the bucket on your head and then you make sure you have it balanced," He then walked around a bit, making sure the bucket stayed on. When it did he stood in front of the Acolytes and cleared his throat. "Now my friends," He crossed his arms and closed his eyes. "You do a dance!"

Remy and Peter gasped while John covered his eyes.

_"La la lalalala la la lalalala"_ Pietro kicked his legs up every few minutes, in tune to the imaginary beat, as the gang hung their heads in shame.

------------------

"…Oh dear me."

"Chirp." I am also at lost for words to describe…this.

"Let's just close out eyes and pretend nothing is happening"

"Squeak" Agreed

------------------

_Sorry once again for the long wait._


End file.
